words for everything.





I'm so scared right now.

One step closer to moving. I moved my computer last night. I'm going to start being online more again.

So, awesome news... I have more than enough money in my account to pay for classes this fall. This is a direct result of me working my hiney off this summer. A normal day for me usually involves waking up at 7 (6:45 if I'm staying at Destin's) and driving to Detroit to babysit from 7:30 to 4:15. After that I race home and take a quick shower and eat a usually less than filling dinner. Then I rush over to Borders and work there 5:30 until 9:30. I do this Monday through Friday. Saturday I usually do a 7 hour shift at Borders, and most Sundays I do laundry. Great, cool, awesome. I made some cash. 

I'm dead exhausted, and all of this working is destroying my relationship with almost everybody (except Destin). I don't think I will EVER work sixty hour weeks again. I feel like I've lost so much of my summer, and people I used to have no problem talking to suddenly feel distant.

I know what a lot of people think. They think I am spending all my free time with my boyfriend and ignoring them because I'm so happy and blah blah blah blah... While I might be spending a lot of my free time with Destin... it's only because there are 168 hours in a week. When you spend 60 of them working and roughly 49 of them sleeping that only leaves 59 hours. I am working more than I'm doing anything else. I feel like a slave to my own routine. This really bothers me. Not what other people think, but the fact that I am wasting my life away. I miss people and I don't know how to fix it right now. I keep telling myself September is coming. January is coming.

I'm moving out in January. I'm not moving very far, just to Woodhaven to share Destin's apartment with him. I'm pretty excited for this. For starters, I won't have to drive from Livonia to Woodhaven as often. Also... I'll be one step closer to being where I want to be at this point of my life. Don't get me wrong - I love my parents, but I feel my time living with them is just about spent. 

Any who, I have to babysit tomorrow, but after 4:15 pm, I will not have to work for over 48 hours!!!!!!!!! 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!

My Grandma died last Sunday. It's been a rough week. You live your life knowing your grandparents won't be around forever, but this knowlege doesn't make things any easier when it actually happens. She would have been 86 at the end of the month, and she lived an amazing life. Sometimes it takes losing somebody before you figure out how much you had in common. My grandma and I were made out of the same stuff. In her final hours I gazed into her eyes and saw myself, and if I could lead my life and still be compared to her by anybody who remembers, I will have died happy.

This whole situation has hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I love my grandma very much. Her and my grandpa are huge role models for me. They were together for 48 years, and the whole 12 years they were apart, my grandma longed to be near him once again. Now she is - and they are infinite in the memories of the wonderful family they helped create.

Thank you Grandma, for giving me direction in the way I'd like to lead my life. I will never forget you and will make sure the lessons you helped teach me are carried down to my own children and grandchildren.

I've been getting a weird feeling lately, like my home isn't really my home. I don't spend very much time there anymore, I barely sleep there. I often find myself sleeping miles away - not in my own bed, but someplace where I am even more comfortable - someplace where I sleep more soundly. This place, is unfortunately for my wallet in Woodhaven. Out of the last five days I've spent three nights here. This leaves me with a very conflicted view of home. I don't know what I should do. 

My parents are in Livonia, as well as a fair amount of my friends.

Borders is also in Livonia, but I can quit there anytime as  to the fact that I've grown to dislike Borders as a company and as a workplace.

My nanny job is going to be in Detroit when I start on Monday, but far closer to Livonia than Woodhaven/Trenton.

School is in Ypsilanti, which is the same distance drive from here as it is from "home".

Granted... it's only a 35 minute drive from here to Livonia... I'm not sure where it would make more sense for me to live. I'm happy here - very happy.

I've actually even been thinking of what stuff of mine I could see here, what I'd leave in Livonia, and what I'd throw out.

I'm thinking I should probably wait until I graduate to move in here, but it's so tempting right now...

Ah, spring... full of new beginnings and allergies from hell. Ah... more like Ahhhchooo. It looks like after almost 22 years on this planet, Mother Nature finally decided to plot against me. I've been cursed with allergies this year and they are mericless.

I've been busy, but not with the things that I should be focusing on (ie: taking home my EMU degree). I've actually been spending a lot of my time on a video game project with a group of friends. We have a small team of programers and creative designers. I've been working on character design and composing a score of video game music! This, of course, is waaaay more interesting than school, so I finished the semester with only a 3.19. 

Borders has been dropping my hours like ducks on a shooting range. It hasn't been pretty. When I was promoted I was promised at least 28 hours a week. Last week I was scheduled at 17. I ended up getting lucky and multiplying that to 30, but that was just luck. Gas is outrageous. Even though I'm not driving to school every day anymore, if I ever want to see my wonderful boy friend... I'm still gonna have to be making some cash. So, I'm going to end up nannying again this summer. I've got a new family this year. My old family reccomended me to them. I guess this family (the Walkers) are going to let me drive the kids around wherever. Their kids fight a lot. The boy is 12 and the girl is 8. I guess I'm going to have to work some of my Mary Poppins magic on the tots.

Screw Borders.

I will however continue working there. Mainly because I have a 28 book long summer reading list and I want to keep being to check books out for free. Basically I'm milking the company for all they're worth.

p.s. I'm graduating in December now....